New Words

1. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

3. Giraffiti (n):
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4. Sarchasm (n):
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

5. Inoculatte (v):
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

6. Hipatitis (n):
Terminal coolness.

7. Karmageddon (n):
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

8. Dopeler effect (n):
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

9. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

10. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

11. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
12. Ignoranus (n):
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.