... and office dares

ONE-POINT DARES

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

6. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT DARES

1. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

2. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

FIVE POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem - (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

5. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

6. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

7. In a male colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

8. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

10. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

11. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

12. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

13. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

14. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

15. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

16. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

17. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.