Mark's Things*

I'm not quite sure what to make of this website . Either way, it's mildly amusing and I think there's a message in it somewhere....

Via Gizmodo . The average TV fan loses the remote 3.4 times a week, spending over 2 minutes each time looking for it. Those ‘missing’ remote...

... they decide to make a movie about it . No, really.

You may remember me mentioning Savage Chickens earlier in the blog. Now, I also bring you links to individual episodes. See how nice I am? ...

Q: What is the product when chlorine is mixed with water? A: Wet chlorine. Via Andy H .

MP3 players and washing machines do not make good combinations. I don't say this very often, but :(

Paninis should be made illegal.

Warning: this is pretty long. You're either going to have to sit and read it or sit and scroll past it. Or you could just go to eBaumsWo...

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton, has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolera...

1) Order three extra spoons with your dessert and throw them out of the window. 2) roll up the napkin and singe the end with the candle so i...

Via. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In an...

I have to hand it to Steve, writing about vomitworthy food does make for an original and midly amusing blog .

Judging by its name, I'd err on the side of caution when using facts found on this site in dissertations.

Like most of my spin-off blogs this probably isn't going to last forever, but hell, a blog's a blog. Proudly presenting How To Be Hu...

I think this page on The Register sums up most of the headbutting virals thus far.

This game is brilliantly simple. Basically you have to try an advance to the page with the next number. If you don't quite grasp what I...

So it's an advert for a bank. And its comedy value is almost purely slapstick. But it's still worth watching.

Find common interests. Ask, "Are you in the Witness Protection Program too?" Call the stewardess "nurse". Sport a kamik...

Spill soda on the person next to you every few minutes. Dress up as a Jehovah's Witness and systematically try to convert each passenger...

It seems that the new Yahoo! Mail service will actually suggest a subject for you if you click on the word "subject". Here's s...

People may encounter a few problems over the next few days when trying to contact me or send email to Spamblog . Leaving comments on the b...

Allegedly, these are true stories as told by travel agents. Via this page. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked wha...

This anecdote was originally by "Zug's Fronzel Neekburm", whoever that is. I don't sign my credit cards. Once I went to ch...

.. have a very hapy fourth of July, and remember that even though we don't rule your country anymore, you still keep coming back to read...

"[He] has a school project to do on JFK" Me: "The airport?"

That would be this video here . You *do* have to stare at it for some time but if you stare at something that isn't plain afterward you ...

So many stupid people, so few asteroids. Excess is never too much in moderation. To err is human, to moo bovine. Carpe Diem = Seize the day....

As some of you may know, yesterday I paid a visit to, as some people insist on calling it, the big smog. This guide isn't serious, as yo...

Slightly freaky at times, but this could keep you clicking for ages.

A blog-related episode of web comic Pearls Before Swine .

What could be finer than gross misinterpretations of flight safety notices? (Note: some parodies may be not be SFW.)

If you liked Pencilmation you may also like this. If you found Pencilmation dull and patronising, you'll hate this. 17632.swf

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a deci...

.. I must be getting 1337. Anyway, this is a pretty good online game whereby you have to keep your mouse cursor away from the evil Japanese...

God knows what Pendulumeca means, but it's a good flash game whereby you swing between funny block things. Well, it beats doing work, a...

... has bought you instructions on how to eat an apple . It's good advice, honest.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my cro...

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Also: A mute person goes ...

... paying someone to stand in a queue for you.

Its been a busy week for Guy Goma. The guy now has a whole fan club and an online petition full of people wanting him to be given a job at...

Decline to be seated at the restaurant, and simply stand and eat their complimentary mints at the cash register. Look casual and talk to a f...

If you think you might be traumatised by cartoon strips in which the cutest little bunny rabbits find ever more innovative ways to kill them...

Yes folks, a hand can do a better job than Jo Whiley.

This guy should be a professional car salesman. After you've read it, here's the best of the questions and answers: Q: Hi i notic...

If you're on a mission to slow down traffic, you may as well have some fun at the same time. (Warning: this links to a British tabloid,...

Sometime next month, I are going to London. (There's no punchline to this post; I have to make a diary-style entry once every so often t...

So if you don't want it spolit, don't read this article on Yahoo! News . Now if only they could work out if falling trees make noise...

... and that includes this guy who's just trying to sell a car . Scroll down about halfway to the "On 22-Apr-06 the seller added t...

I'm not a fan of the World Cup (though the 2 for 1 sandwich deals it brings about are fine) but even I saw the gem inside this man .

If you're the sort of person who likes pictures of cute bunnies balancing stuff on themselves, you may like these: According to the site...

I came up with this all by myself. Well, the picture's nicked; but everything else is me me me. (Feel free to copy the picture, just don...

Well, kind of. This is how you can take animals on crowded public transport.

Via Spy's Spice at www.xenmate.blogspot.com ( Clicky for the original post, including a nice picture of 2 cows.) SOCIALISM: You have 2...

It is just before Scotland vs. Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team m...

If you ask for extra cheese in a UK franchise of Subway they will charge you an additional 20p! O_o

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. A fine is a tax ...

This in reference to the BBC interviewing the wrong guy (see video clip below). The taxi driver below is not actually a taxi driver; rather ...

This is a real interview in which the BBC interview a taxi driver, thinking he is the edior of a technology magazine. Just watch it as far ...

Normally I don't post games on here as they all seem the same as each other after a while but here's a couple of new ones: Beat The ...

"Aubergine? Isn't aubergine that vegetable that makes me roll my eyes?" -- Mark McGuire, 2006

If you aren't already a regular at Weebls' Stuff, watch crabs . Its just so visionary*. * wierd.

In affiliation with AllPosters.com The Simpsons - Homer Scream Buy this Poster

Its a serious problem, and an equally serious website.

As every other site listed on BritBlog will be having a cheap laugh at the oversized British politician, this seems like a good time for me ...

An interesting mathematical fact: if you assign every letter a number where a is 34, b is 35, c is 36, etc.; the letters in the word "s...

And here's the proof. Via Yahoo!

Its a pity about the creeping text message shorthand, but as personal blogs go this one was gently funny and, dare I say it, worth reading....

"Good movies do not have the number '2' in their title." -- Mark McGuire, 2006

Let's face it - Honda's let us down with the last ad. But never fear, these moustached call centre workers have come to the rescue.

So sure, you'll still get cancer, but with this Quebec-invented beauty , you'll be sure you won't die of scurvy first.

You may not remember the KFC ad that featured lots of people singing with their mouths full of chicken. Well, according to MSN's very-ch...

.. watch this . Note: If you didn't like the Honda ad you will probably find this stupendously boring.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer. The little boat gently drifted across the...

I honestly thought that this was a spoof until I saw they had a WorldPay account. It appears that someone, somewhere had a brilliant notion...

Salesmen! Have people wipe themselves with your brand! Campers! Now there's portable toilet roll you can take camping! Infantry soldier...

What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four...

Bud Light have now opened a greeting card franchise .

The old contact us system was needlessly complex and needlessly easy for people to spam me with (I wouldn't mind, but they chose option ...

Now that was stupid.

"Plugger." -- Mark McGuire, 2006

In affiliation with AllPosters.com National Sarcasm Society Buy this Poster

As well as all the great stuff it did before (Webmail notifier, MT* Updates, Inbuilt Radio, Popup blocker, etc.), the MT* Toolbar now offers...

New words that everyone should know: defenestrate (dee-FEN-uh-strayt): to throw out of a window perambulate (puh-RAM-byuh-layt): to walk abo...

Savage Chickens is an almost-daily cartoon series about today's modern working chickens, or something like that. It may not be quite up...

A selection of vehicular stupidity.

... but here's some now.

(Words of Wisdom is probably going to be an irregular new feature that pops up whenever I come out with something potentially inspirational....

The creator of Weebl's Stuff is involved in a terrible accident.

Its a hot new gadget discovered by cNet that interacts with, well, anything.

Since they ditched PG Woodhose it seems Ask.com are a little stuck for humour. Still, its mildly amusing.

Can't always remember things? Sometimes want to share your thoughts with others? Buy this.

Blue Peter Badges to be replaced by Blue Peter ID cards . To be honest I'm not 100% sure whether or not this is a joke, but its still wo...

Dating is a search problem and Google is here to help with Google Romance . Click on the "post your profile" button for an explana...

Normally I'm not a huge fan* of RatherGood.com but I thought this was worth watching. * Ever since those damn Switch/Maestro ads, anywa...

You may have heard this before put here it is anyway: A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When...