Computer Helpline Quotes

Actual converstaions over a computer helpine:

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
my desk... Sorry....

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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try,
it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front
of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it....

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................Thank you.

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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: Okay.

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes.

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter
V as in

Victor, and the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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A customer couldn't get on the Internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

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Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?

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