Honesty is the best policy (yes, its more strange eBay auctions).

This guy should be a professional car salesman.

After you've read it, here's the best of the questions and answers:

Q: Hi i noticed you said it had one ginger in the car, can you confirm all trace has been cleaned away as im allergic thanks
A: I can sympathise. I should have mentioned in the description that the ginge was actually wrapped in tin foil for the duration of his journey. You have to wrap it with the shiny side in, in order to contain the ginge-rays. Shiny side out would absorb heat from the sun and set him on fire - so either way you can't lose.

Q: Is the panda pop unopened?
A: I daren't open it. I'd rather lick plutonium off a horses cock.

Q: Does this beauty have SatNav fitted?
A: It did up until it told me to 'turn right now' about thirty seconds before that photo was taken.

Q: Hi, was just wondering if the Boot Contents would be available to purchase seperately?
A: I don't think that would be fair on the car-purchaser. The current bid could be solely based on the sway of the lucious boot-items. You could try nicking them? I'm not even sure if I locked the car.