Schoolchildren

There were originally some really bad ones mixed in with these, but I filtered them out because I love you all so much...


>TEACHER: Why are you late?
>WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
>TEACHER: What sign
>WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
>_____________
>
>TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
>multiplication on the floor?
>CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
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>
>TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
>GEORGE: Here it is!
>TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
>CLASS: George!
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>
>TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
>today that we didn't have ten years ago.
>WILLIE: Me!
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>
>TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
>TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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>
>TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
>ELLEN: I is...
>TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
>ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
>_____________
>
>TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
>JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
>same day, same time."
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>
>TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
>prayers before eating?
>SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. *
>*_______________
>
>TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
>exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
>DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
>______________
>
>TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
>talking when people are no longer interested?
>PUPIL: A teacher.*