Because plagiarism saves time.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!

Especially to the person who's visited this page every few hours since 10am today, most likely waiting for me to post that.

Anyway, everyone have a nice time in 2006. Don't take it too seriously, its not permanent.

P.S. To my American viewers who are already in the new year: what's 2006 like? Email me >>>.
:p

Friday, December 30, 2005

Spam me Baby!

Send spam to: spamhere@marksthings.com

Then read it at www.spam.marksthings.com

I don't know why either. Maybe - just maybe - I'm bored.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

O.. kay...

According to Yahoo! News (here), a pilot dumped a man on a tiny island 1000 miles from home because he swore at flight attendents; then took off again to take the rest of the passengers to their destination.

No further comment.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The "Play with and watch sand" game

You could sit for hours watching this. And to think I almost bought an ant farm.

Bloggable Newspaper Clippings

Full of great adverts and healthy advice.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Happy Christmas to all MT* readers!

Ooh, that acronym makes me sound so professional. Anyway, everyone have a good time tomorrow; try not to think about how much that particular 24 hours of your life has cost you.

Also remember to check back here over the course of next week, as you may note that thus far I have neglected to wish you a happy new year.

Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer

A lot of people have been arriving here after searching for Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer. Here's the link, just to save your scroll wheel.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Jeb's Jobs 2

The people behind one of the numerous technical support posts on here have come up with Jeb's second job: Kids' TV. No, shockingly, that isn't a link; I won't link to it because it sucks. But there is one good line in it: "They can't fire me from the show! I've got a GCSE in performing arts, I have." Well I thought it was good.

I blog too much.

I dropped my pen the other day and said "Aw, Blogger". =s

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Free-for-all Readers' Links (Beta)

In accordance with my policy of trying half-assed schemes, ignoring them for a month then wondering why they didn't work, I have unleashed a free-for-all links section to Mark's Things*. This bascially means that readers can submit links back to their own blogs and websites.

If it takes off I'll add a permanent link on the column to the right, but until then you can clicky here.

I found Area 51

What do you know? Typing Area 51 into Google Earth (or Google Maps, if you must) produces a result.

Quick Link.

Crush Calculator

( Edit: I've fooled enough people with this already. You can set up your own one at http://www.crushcalculator.com/v2/ )

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

New Domain: www.MarksThings.com

Well, this blog's been going for many months now and its about time I got a domain for it (well, actually its just to stop anyone else pinching it.) But I'm also worried about everyone having to type in the painfully long Blogspot address. It also means I can reply to emails more willy-nilly as I can hide behind a pseudonym@marksthings.com address.

The blog will stay hosted on Blogspot with the new domain only acting as a forwarder for the forseeable future; so unless you're still using the mdmone domain you won't have to remember any new addresses unless you want to :)

Its true.

There really is a species of penguin named "Jackass penguin".

Monday, December 19, 2005

I love German?

Did you know that the German word for "team" is mannschaft? I confess, I don't know exactly what kind of team we're talking about here...

And also, German for poison is "Gift". But a lot of you probably already knew that one.

Google Moon

Well, you've probably heard that Google have taken iy upon themselves to come up with a map of the moon. They've also made quite a discovery, which you can only see on the closest zoom. http://moon.google.com/

Its good to see a major corporation with a sense of humour.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Christmas Cooking Tips

If you have trouble telling when your turkey's donw, you should stuff the turkey with popping corn right in the middle (because when its hot enough in the middle to pop corn its properly cooked). Just sit back, relax, and when the turkey's butt blasts out the oven door, you'll know its properly done. :)

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Stupid questions do give stupid answers.

Sometimes a question just comes to you, and you have to ask it, right? Well, this happened to me not long ago, teh question being"Who decided there should be 24 hours in a day? I mean, why not divide the day up into ten or twenty or something?"

After a few moments of silence, the answer I got was "Because it takes the sun 24 hours to go around the world. Duh!"

If anyone does happen to know, please leave a comment. Or if you dont happen to know, please leave a hilarious spoof explanation.

That was unsettling.

I just found a biscuitcrumb in my eyebrow.

On another topic though, this page got 26 unique visitors yesterday, which is just about the highest its ever been :D so I'm happy.

Friday, December 16, 2005

New Santa Hat

Never being one for putting the decorations up too early, I was hesitant to make a Christmas alteration before now - but it does look pretty good. Many thanks to the geeks on Office Online who have nothing better to do than make clipart Santa hats for Blogspot users to stick on their pre-made templates to pretend they're creative.

If you can't see the hat, hold down Ctrl and press F5.

Edit: oh, and while we're on the Christmas subject: http://www.toonedin.com/movies/WhiteTrashXmas.html
(Thankyou to FearThePie.)

Panexa (TM)

... is the miracle drug that you should be taking. Apparently.

http://www.panexa.com/

(Edit: they also do a pretty good Cafepress T-shirt.)

Find the Spam!

http://www.smalltime.com/findthespam.html

I particularly like the text-only version.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

This page needs some christmassification.

All the other sites have snow or baubles or something. Anyone have any good ideas for this page?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Another candidate for Christmas #1?

It is of course that time when Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.
Sure its juvenile, but its also Christmas.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Something to do

Type =rand() into Microsoft Word and press Enter. No, I don't know why it does that either.. but pondering about it kills time.

Friday, December 09, 2005

You gotta love the cheek of these scammers.

It appears that the Xbox 360 box I posted on here earlier is not the only one.

http://www.themailout.co.uk/stuff/xbox1.pdf
(Bottom line of the item description.)

I've decided I'm not going to make any more posts about this or it'll become unfunny, so please don't send me any more links :)

Pirate Techo Rave (apparently).

A nice tune and a ghastly video. Not much comedy value but still worth watching.

http://www.geocities.com/chrisman259/piratetechnorave.swf

This was submitted to me by FearThePie. If you've seen something you'd like to submit there's a neat little link on the right ===>.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Action to promote cleaner WHAT?

The UK Labour Party show us why you shouldn't use handwriting style on the web.

(5th December, second bullet point:) http://www.labour.org.uk/fileadmin/splash/pbr05/PBR05_splash4.htm

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Cats.

A nice little video of cats doing some pretty stupid things.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

A Brief Thank You

Part of the reason for this post is because when people see "this is an eBay money-maker" as the first post they think its just a spam blog. But most of the reason is to thank everybody who's put a link to this blog on their website.

The latest person to link to me is this blogger. On Yahoo, no less.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Now THIS is an eBay money-maker.

Well, you gotta admit its great value. And of course PayPal probably won't do anything because the seller delivers exactly what he promised.

(Edit: 3 people have bought one of these so far according to the purchase history, of which one bidder even bought two. Sucker.)

(Edit 2: Actually, the more you read that, the better it gets.)

Here's something vaguely interesting I found.

(Coming soon: something mildly interesting I found.)
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt.

Look at me, I'm making people famous.

The JCB Song I posted on here is being released in time to make it the Christmas Number One in the UK.

And to think I sent them ll those hits* and they haven't offered me a cut of the profits. But then I haven't asked yet... -opens up Gmail-

* well, three or so.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Not sure if you're an idiot?

Compared to these people, you're Stephen Hawking.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer

Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer
Bottom of his reindeer class
Wanted to be sleigh leader
So he started kissing Santa's ass

All of the other reindeer
Really learned to hate his gut
Every time they saw Santa
Rudolph's nose was up his butt

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Blitzen had had enough
So they took Rudolph outside
And got the elves to beat him up

Oh, how the reindeer loved it
As Rudolph screamed out in pain
Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer
He'll never kiss a butt again.

(I know there are other Rudolph variations out there but this is the only work-safe one I've heard.)